All of the above

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

if ever there was a dream i wanted to really achieve in my life, this is probably the one.

whether it simply be an urge to give back to society or to avoid the viciousness that life throws at you when you're simply born into a less privileged background...

i have a burning need to help people.

i would attribute the trigger factor to the analysis of the privileged and the underprivileged. i totally agree with what Malcolm Gladwell wrote in his book "Outliers" regarding the opportunities that people who come from privileged backgrounds have, yet not excluding the possibilities of the rags to riches stories via his many illustrated stories of how Jews became rich. cutting a long story short, there were 3 critical factors that made Jews rich, out of which i could only remember one which involved coming from a background that showed how sheer hard work translated into monetary proceeds. this would throw the child into a thinking fray where he would emulate his parent's deeds (need not be in similar fashion) and become, you guessed it, fellow wealthy, upper class people.

so what has this got to do with what i have in mind? simply put, i would like to empower people who are limited by their circumstances by offering them a positive change in life and moving on from there. in other words, teaching a person how to fish from the basic 'give a fish and feed him for a day' concept. to be honest, it seems a far flung attempt to gratify myself and to be a testament to how people from ordinary families could become trailblazers. i have no concrete plans on how i would go about it but i know i'll tie it down with my other dream.

to become a specialist in neuroscience. i know it's difficult and my dreams have all crashed to the ground for 2009... what's more, they were on the verge of coming true. all these have led to a painful route of self doubt and being in limbo regarding my future. i am no longer a kid anymore, which is what changes everything. when you're an adult, you have to know where you're going or your (future) family is going to suffer. i have boundless enthusiasm when it comes to doing stuff that i like but when it comes to stuff that i dislike e.g. army, everything falls apart.

it's one thing to have courage to fight for what you believe, but another when that effort, though valiant, is unfortunately in vain.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

it's finally december.

the year is coming to an end but the usual reminiscing and pondering is eluding me for once. the thought of growing old no longer bothers me and christmas doesn't seem so beautiful...

what has changed?

well, lots.

i think i'm still a big whiner. the hours leading to book in is always excruciating and the same questions repeat themselves.

"why am i doing this? can i just go AWOL?"

it's scary that i wake up every morning thinking of something negative and the day i finally ord. ord-ing is an obsession; the one thing that can make me fly to the moon and back. it's like my only lifeline. being in camp is like being in jail.

it's a terrible feeling to see people being so gan chiong about university studies when i'm in camp. i don't like being unproductive because it makes me feel that i'm wasting my time! don't like the organisation. hm... treading a fine line here though. someone could catch me.

****

been a long time since i talked bout bikes! i have a new dream bike. the Pinarello Dogma Carbon. it's damn sexy. woots!





check out the wheels man. dream wheels as well hehe.

Friday, November 20, 2009

i can't write out all the regrets and emotions i've been feeling the past month in one single entry. it's been a long time since i wrote down my thoughts at length and it's really hard to capture the ups and downs of my life in national service in a simple monologue.

to be kicked out of EOD was an excruciating yet humbling experience. though i convinced myself that the whole fiasco precipitated from the impressions that the instructors had of me, it did lead to me doing some questioning of my character.

****

i feel like taylor when she sang You belong with me.

Monday, September 21, 2009

been almost a month long hiatus. tinkering with the idea of closing it cause i don think anyone's reading it but heck.

been thinking bout a conversation i had about true love. it was a long bus ride to ecp from the cbd area and this person said she didn't believed true love, as in nicholas sparks novels, existed.

i, on the other hand, believes that true love does exist. yes, examples are far and few and yes, no matter how much our society is liberated from its former chains true love is still as difficult to find as in the past ( in times of arranged marriages, political marriage and the like). yet i believe there is a rainbow that lies beyond this cloud that shatters so many of our hearts.

so yes, mind the dream of being someone's romeo but i believe something magical like this exists!

***

bombs are no joke man.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v3d6SFcDys

best cover of taylor's love story. man it was quite touching to hear the dedication from the man to his daughter. wooo~ it's at the ending. ok i'm not mentioning coldplay's song because it's not that fantastic. LOL.

just had a bbq with the jc peeps. wonderful time even though me anna and josh were preparing. k la i didn't do much cause i dare not touch the squid. LOL. bimbotic moment but still i did some stuff.

life's pretty cool at the moment. there's stuff to do and i'm not wandering about thinking bout random stuff but life has a meaning. there are so many great men in this world who show their talents through work and not by monologuing. i'm gonna learn again. i'm gonna find more meaning in the book that guides my way, the Bible. it means so much to me.

even though i get more absent minded everyday cause my mind is halfway in the clouds, (for instance i can't remember where i put my keys already) i really pray i get my ass moving on my UK medicine applications. as what they all say, i wanna serve humanity. ok that's a whole lot of crap. i don't want to serve people who are facing pain and suffering because they tend to give the most crap, but i love the whole aspect of being a doctor. there's so much of the human touch to give and so much to share. there's so many people who need help. sure, go join a charity, one would probably tell me but hey, there's more to it. charity's help in their way, and doctors help in our way. operations are interesting and life saving, clinics offer a chance to meet that one person who has it so bad that we can pull him out of it. diseases don't need more deaths to show it's severity and ugliness, and we do our best in our respective fields to find that niche to exploit.

****

hey, people deal alot of crap to us, but more importantly God gave us talents to utilise and be the angels to the people around. nothing's gonna get me down. but let's not forget God in the midst of bad times as well.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

suffered a flat. replaced the tube but the bike fills heavier.

well, i've finally completed my project by spending another 170 dollars more on bottle cages and a front light and a display stand. sigh sigh.

photos on facebook!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

man, talking to old friends really rock my world. so far, this weekend has been really satisfying despite having missing out so much. i missed my church's 20th anniversary celebration and FOP because of guard duty. army is determined to suck my life up but i'm too good at makin my time in camp worth it.

looking forward to next friday. army makes me look forward. alot. just skip all the tough outfield that we have and focus on the end point. have to go back to tekong and do my navigation and grand slam, which unfortunately involves digging a shell scrape that i'm wont to do because it is seriously very tiring.

man, i'm only riding my bike once a week. GAH. how to improve liddat. what's more i'm slacking alot. no motivation to train cause i only wanna ride my bike and cruise at 35km/h to 40km/h. shiokness. i wonder how fast i can go should i try a flat out sprint. field camp is coming. hope i lose weight!

will upload photos soon... anna's been pestering me for it. heh.

***

taylor rocks.

I've never gone with the wind, just let it flow
Let it take me where it wants to go
Til you open the door, there's so much more
I've never seen it before
I was trying to fly but I couldn't find my wings
But you came along and you changed everything

You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I am lost in your eyes
You make me crazier crazier crazier

I watched from a distance as you made life your own
Every sky was your own kind of blue
And I wanted to know how that would feel
And you made it so real
You showed me something that I couldn't see
You opened my eyes and you made me believe

You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I am lost in your eyes
You make me crazier crazier crazier oh

Baby you showed me what livin' is for
I don't wanna hide anymore

You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I am lost in your eyes
You make me crazier crazier crazier, crazier, crazier.